Is it Impulse or Intuition? 5 Tips for Developing Self Trust

Have you ever had a sudden strong feeling that led to you sending a vulnerable text? How did it go? Was it well received or did it cause a chain reaction of events that you wished had never happened? Conversely, do you often feel anxious, busy, and overwhelmed and struggle to feel confident in your next steps?

A key aspect of my practice is empowering clients connect to their own intuition; I also call this developing self trust. We are surrounded by influences. It can be difficult to know what is for us and what is just noise. We can be stretched in too many directions to be productive. On the other side of overwhelm and inaction, some us struggle to think before we act. This impulsivity often wrecks havoc in multiple areas of our lives. Whether you tend to be the person who overthinks, or the person who doesn’t think - developing self trust can help.

Self trust is about understanding a version of yourself that does not exist yet. I refer to this as The Higher Self. It is an idealistic version of you. As far as you can conceptualize in this moment your Higher Self is already resting in the dreams that you are currently trying to build. This you has the perspective of what it takes to get there. Our impulses, while they can feel good in the moment, often knock us off of the path of becoming this Higher Self. Our intuition, on the other hand is in alignment with our Higher Self. If I feel held up in my goals, my intuition helps me understand why. 

Our Higher Selves seem to always be knocking from somewhere in the distance. Meanwhile, our impulses are right up front, loud, and often distracting. Tuning inward is a process of learning to hear your intuition over your impulses as well as the external influences that surround you. Just like an analog radio, sometimes it is hard to trust ourselves because all we hear is static. Tuning inward takes gentle, careful moves to sort out what is noise from music, or inspiration. The better we get at listening to ourselves, the better we get at adjusting the dial and the clearer the messages become. When we get that clear message, when we become familiar with our Higher Self’s voice, it becomes easier and easier to say no to things that are only going to tune the radio back to static. It won’t feel right, it won’t feel in alignment. 

I want you to try it. Make time, 30 minutes to an hour, to find a quiet place to sit where no one will disturb you. It can be silent, or for my ADHD friends, you might need some meditative music to ground you. Tuning Inward often involves a practice that helps you connect with your body. You might be thinking, why do I need to be aware of my body when I’m trying to be aware of my thoughts? Well, your body is full of all of these great receptors that allow you to assess things like safety, love, joy, fear, etc. Yes, these are emotions, but they are also primal. 

Our bodies often know if we feel unsafe before our brains do. That’s why we get goosebumps or the hair stands up on the back of our necks or a sound can trigger our adrenaline. Our bodies send us all the signals about how we actually feel about something. Our brains on the other hand, need time to process, time to catch up. So as you are sitting there, you might want to stretch or give yourself a massage. I like to do both to get my head and body in the same zone. When my head and body are in alignment, not only can I hear the voice of my intuition and Higher Self better, I know which thoughts feel good, and which feel bad. My body will respond. I will get a sourness in my belly, or I will feel a lightness. My heart will fill with warmth or my head will get a fuzziness. However you decide to do this for yourself, just know that making time to be quiet and listen inward is the most important part. Often the rest comes to you naturally. You won’t need to take my advice, your Higher Self will take over. 

Here are five questions to ask yourself if you need help figuring out if an idea is coming from intuition or impulse. 

• What state of mind was I in when I had this thought? I get many inspired and good thoughts when I am meditating or processing thoughts and feelings through my writing. I get all of my bad ideas when I am in a state of anxiety or chaos. When things around me are spinning and I am grasping at the air for a solution. Noticing what is going on when a thought comes to you, can help you filter out if it is coming from a place of scarcity (fear) or abundance (love and hope). Fear based thoughts often hold us back, while hopeful or loving thoughts push us forward.

• Will this idea derail me or contribute to my overall trajectory? Even if you get an idea that comes to you quickly or easily, it is likely your intuition speaking if it feels like a lightning bolt that makes connection with other events in your life. Not only does it feel in alignment with where you are going, it might sort of feel like “everything has led to this moment.” An impulsive idea is usually some low hanging fruit that might make me feel cool or energized temporarily, but it will also postpone the things that will keep me going in the direction of my dreams. It is often a tangent that doesn’t make sense with other events or future goals. 

• What happens if I sleep on it? If I sleep on a thought that comes from my intuition, the thought will grow. I will get more ideas and the vision becomes clearer and I have both long term and short term ideas about how to get there. If the idea comes from impulse and I can hold onto it long enough to sleep on it, chances are I won’t be thinking about it much in the morning. I might even think “What was I thinking?” when I first wake up. 

• Is it an idea I want to keep to myself for a while, or do I feel an immediate need to share it with someone else to get their validation? Good ideas can come from impulses, but if they are intuitive, you won’t feel a need to ask someone else what they think. The ideas that come to us through intuition are sacred. They sit close to our hearts and we protect them from other people’s view until we are ready. When we release an intuition based thought out into the world, we are ready to back it and ourselves up because it is worth any negative feedback. We don’t need validation in it because we are going to do it anyway.

• If I sit with this thought in a quiet space, how does it make me feel? Sometimes my intuition tells me things I don’t want to hear. End that relationship. Speak up next time. Go for it, even if it’s hard! My intuition doesn’t always give me the easy path. But whenever I sit quietly with a thought that comes from my intuition a few things start to happen. I get emotional - like happy tears, scary excitement, or even grief. I try to notice if the discomfort I feel is leading me toward growth and the person I want to be, or if it is the kind of discomfort that is telling me to run. Sometimes, intuition, or self trust, just feels like a knowing. That this is something meant for me even if others don’t understand it. Impulse, on the other hand, is something that often pulls me away from my meditative states. I feel a sense of urgency that if I don’t act now, my brilliant idea will be forgotten. If I leave my quiet space to chase this white rabbit, I will lose sight of my Higher Self and what she is all about. My impulses often feel like acid in my belly. Sure, they can be exciting in the moment, but like candy, they don’t sit well. I can feel all the parts of me that just want someone to give me credit for something, or an easy win to happen driving this force that feels inauthentic. 

The journey to self trust is extra difficult if you have been surrounded by people your whole life who have intentionally or unintentionally caused you to second guess yourself. Your best ideas are getting tainted by the unnecessary input of others. Stop seeking validation. Instead of asking what others think, develop a practice, right now, that allows you to make time to listen to yourself. Get familiar with your body’s response to making decisions. Learn to postpone asking other's for advice and feedback until you have made time to ask yourself first. Have trusted people in your circle who want you to be yourself. Don’t ask for advice from people who are only invested in wanting you to be more like them. It is my belief that developing a strong sense of self trust by learning to tell the difference between your intuition and your impulses is a key skill in developing confidence, reducing anxiety, and living more fully into your natural greatness.

If you would like to learn more about developing self trust, I would love to support you!

This article was written by Dazholi "DD" Love, LMFT. If you are seeking counseling in the Grand Junction, Western Slope and Mesa County areas, you may contact DD by clicking this link here

DD Love, LMFT

640 Grand Ave,

Grand Junction, CO 81507

(970) 852-0687

Available Monday - Wednesday from 9am-7pm, Fridays from 9am-12pm (in-person and online)