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Developing Whole-Health by Learning to Trust Yourself

Updated: Jun 25


person hugging themselves with compassion
trusting yourself is an important step towards whole-health

Sometimes I wonder where and how I will actually help people with my degree and profession. It isn’t turning out at all how I expected. The human experience is tethered to many realms of “health”. Whole-health encompasses the spiritual, physical, mental, emotional, relational, and the universal. The lines between these blur, connect, tangle and melt together. How can anyone facilitate the realm of relational wellness without having some knowledge of the other areas of whole-health? 


It is in this kind of thinking that I often find myself confused about how to expand my knowledge. I buy books that I cannot finish. The stacks accumulate upon my nightstand. I dive deeply into one subject only to be distracted mid-way by the next because … it is all related! I’m not sure what I will become expert in or if I will ever become an expert at all, but I think I know this: if all areas of health are connected, and health practices are specialized, you must learn to listen to and trust yourself to connect the dots. 


I have grown to love meditation, but I do not practice it in a way that I have seen it done. I keep it secret and sacred so that it does not become tainted by other’s opinions of what I should do. When I am in tune with myself, it is not difficult to figure out the rest. This does not mean that the world is not full of knowledge or that I know more without learning. Information is like a buffet. The wise consume nutritiously. They do not simply pile their plate with their favorite things and ignore the rest. They sample it all. They consume with balance. They do not return to the items that did not feel good to them. Listen to those who speak about what works for them, without insisting it will work for you. We all do this, it isn’t cruel or unkind - in fact there is kindness in it. When something is good to someone they want to share with those they love. However, wisdom knows that we are all on different journeys which place us in different existences and what is holy to some, is luxury and superfluous to others. We are all doing the best we can with what we have available to us. 


It is in the exploration of these thoughts that I believe that there is a reason most therapies today have some way of connecting the body to the mind. There are so many paths pointing to the same thing. Remember that your form is designed to analyze information. Your senses, inside and out, tell you something about your environment. We are becoming removed from this brilliant design. We are filling our time with things that give us no feedback, no information through the senses. We have an excess of information coming in, but we are disconnected from it enough that it is difficult to tell what is real. There is no touch, taste, or smell. There is sight and sound, but even these have become artificial. There is often a screen between us and the real world. These screens aren’t bad, we just need to remember to engage our senses in something real now and then. Being able to trust yourself begins with reconnecting with the senses and sensations of your body. You can practice this by finding activities or spaces that you enjoy, while you rotate through each of your senses. Ask yourself what you are noticing, what you are feeling. Remembering how to use them (your senses) to assess what is going on around you, within you. And then teaming up with the mind so that you can make informed decisions about how to live your life instead of reacting impulsively to emotions. We become so disconnected from our bodies that we often don't realize they make most of our decisions. When someone upsets us, we feel it in our bodies first. Some sensation lights up within us, and we respond to that, not our actual thoughts. If we become better at noticing these sensations, we can choose to pause and think. When we think we are better able to access what is happening and make better decisions about what we want to do about it.


Even as I say these things, here is what I know, I am not an expert in you. Only you can be an expert in you. You know what foods make you feel good and bad; could something so simple be impacting your mental health? You know what kinds of activities feel like they are good for your body, and which do not feel good. You know when your mind is clear and when it is noisy. You know the things that will hurt your feelings and the things that help you feel loved. Developing whole-health by trusting yourself looks like hearing yourself, and believing what you hear so that you can do something about it.


If these ideas connect with you, I would like to connect with you. Click here to  schedule an appointment today. Call (970) 852-0687, or email dd@ddlovecounseling.com


DD Love, MFTC

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